YOMO: You only marry once

Bridezillas. The sort of term that’s only amusing because it is real. Besides putting a name to it, nobody really appreciates the term otherwise. I’ve heard stories. 

Yes, It’s once in a lifetime, it’s about making your guests happy, it’s honoring the grandiosity of this union between 2 individual persons (in this day and age, something quite hard to come by)

If it is that important, it warrants the best – An excellent, well executed event to mark this day. I deserve to ensure that this day goes by well, therefore everybody should listen to me and not sound the alarm unnecessarily. 

I’ve been, pretty chill. “How’s wedding prep?” When it’s going to be your wedding in a couple weeks, that’s all anybody ever asks, friends as well as acquaintances. My answer keeps changing and I can’t help but feel like I’m suppose to sound frantic and overwhelmed, a little bridezillaish.

Tension. Why are people surfacing issues with me now? Why must work suddenly ramp up and distract me? Why isn’t anyone really helping and updating me? Then again this is my wedding, my vocation. Nobody is gonna think about this event day and night like me. 

I must admit that most of these extreme situations stem from the usual fears and anxieties but it nonetheless makes me visibly irritated when people/things rock my boat. Now. As much as I shun the term and the uptight behavior, I can’t help but feel like a bridezilla.

I hate these moments of tension, mostly because life kinda slows down at that point, allowing me to savour every bit of anxiety there is to feel. I could repeat several stories of those moments of craziness and a lot less of those when I felt simply happy. 

Now, I’m by no means a pessimist but I do believe that moments of tension are magical, it’s probably why I love rollercoasters so much, though marginal utility drastically decreased with each ride. 

I’m living in a moment of tension right now, a time period stretched out since the moment I had a ring on my finger. A single clap that has not led to an applause. In a less poetic way, it’s that same moment before a final exam, feeling worried is completely useless and even harmful but you still feel it anyway. 

Tension leads us to bite our fingernails, to speak frantically to others, to take deep breaths, to push ourselves to do the best that we can with all that we’ve got. It drives us to prepare our hearts. It reminds us to live with hope of something greater. 

My answer to how wedding preparation is this: I’m really looking forward to married life. That’s all I can really say because If I talked about anything else, I might start panicking. And I have a reason to be anxious, in fact, I need to be anxious, it is a moment to be savored, a moment to remind me how to live and why I live. 

A friend recently commented that I have been talking bout this wedding stuff too much, but what can I do? I’m waiting on the Lord. 

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